OBAMA and OSAMA

Never, ever before in history (to the best of my knowledge) two opposite forces have name which rhymed so well to represent "yin and yang". This is like examples simplified by some super-natural forces/coincidence for us to understand.

I don't need to remind people again that how Osama was a comrade of americans, while fighting Russians to liberate Afghanistan, and so, was actually helped to reach at a position which helped him later to make his voices reach millions and join the war against his old allies. Which proves how seemingly opposite forces are bound together, inter-wined and interdependent in the natural world, giving rises to each other in turn. Just the same way how years of war all over keeps american economy running to be the worlds biggest economy.

And now after all these years, when the much hyped "change" is arrived in the face of Obama, Osama has reached a status when it is more important for USA to catch him, for not to stop his actions as the so called "Jihad" has already in the self energized fusion reaction, but just to keep there promise to his country men.

Today some weekly magazines are covered with the faces of both of them, with "will OBAMA can catch OSAMA" headlined. Well in my humble opinion we should just let him pass to an un-noticed and not so special death in his rocky pakistani adobe.

And, for Obama, i am waiting to see, is this is just one more american fairy tale or they (americans) have finally arrived, as after seeing this change i have a hope that "rome will not got to dust" this time.

My "Cenophobia"

I am feeling good today, as i finished one more great masterpiece, "The Great Indian Novel" i was reading for last 45 days. But it also brings back two problems i always feel after finishing every book.

First, what to read next? Now thats a really difficult question i comes across every time, i spend minutes standing between two doors of my cup board full of books collected for last eight years from second hand book shops. Why?, because every-time read a good book (which i always make sure to do by reading classics and highly recommended by distinguished people), i want to read something even more better than the last, something which makes my grey matter stir more than before. As you see i like my grey matter "stirred not shaken".

Second, to start this book in public place. As my favorite reading place is local train which i use to travel to my work place and back, that's where usually the first pages are turned. It's an awkward thing to start a book in train because, thou i have seen lots of reader who believe, like me, not too waste that time by nodding on the person next to you, or by reading advertisements on wall of the coach, but by making new sparks up there just like the ones happening up there between the bogie and the electric cables. But i have never seen some one starting a new book there. Never, never-ever in my life. And that's why i feel like i am on to something unspeakable. What i hate is the look on peoples face when they see me doing this. What do they think?, "bloody show offer, reading here to look like an intellectual" or they just hate to see me so comfortable in such a place as usually what i hear around is just people cursing the whole system (or the "hole" system). Thou its a really difficult place to be in, packed from all direction, with one hand holding over-head rods to support and book in second by the  spine of the book, which i read somewhere was the worst way to hold a book, no, not for me, but for the book (of course written by a bibliomaniac). But even worst than this place is when I am standing between two rows of seats and people sitting down looks at my book and then my face, which always makes me feel they are trying to see weather what i am reading matches my face or not. I bet if thats the case the only book which will match my face will be "Letters from the Penthouse", (no, i don't look like those hot blondes) .Thou i haven't read one yet but, hmmmm i should do it, sometime.

So my problem this time is that i want to start the famous Discovery of India by Jawaharlal Nehru, and to tell you the truth the edition i bought is really big in size even thou its a papeback. And i am sure the picture of Mr Nehru on the book will not match my bloody rowdy face.

96

Position "96"

-noun

1. opposite of infamous 69 position,  when couple sleep in bed after a quarrel. Practiced when two people have to share same bed, due to circumstances, even when they dont want to see each others face. Also practiced after a small love quarrel, which gives a good position to keep hitting each other.

2. also practiced by night travelers of  Indian Railway, when they are traveling half-seat i.e. one berth shared by two people.

Origin: 
4th November 2008

Mumbai, India

by Gaurav Chandelya

COMMUNIGNORATION

[kom-yoon-ig-nohr-ay-shuhn]

-noun

1. to ignore any kind of communication deliberately.

2. usually practiced by workaholics to re-energise themselves

Origin: 
6th November 2008; after lunch approx 1500 hrs

Mumbai, India

by Gaurav Chandelya

15kbs of fame

Finally, i did it.
I "coined a phrase".

15kbs of fame

means that everyone will have a data about himself on internet of at least 15 kbs. Variation of Warhol’s famous statement, but adjusted for current era, where every one wants to have results for there name googled on net.

"i am famous for 15 kbs, on certain website.”

Also an unit for the amount of data available on your name, where 15 kbs make one unit, so if my homepage is 45 kbs,

“i will be famous for 15 kbs thrice.”

HOPE

Well i surprised myself by writing this poem,
this, i wrote for a very dear friend, who once was very near.
Well they are expecting, and i knew no other way to send my wishes.


Well, hope you are well
and baby in the well, of life

may your health flourishes
and so does the flower, which reaches

to not just you and him
the creator of her or him

but to all of us, who needs between us
man, not by sense of the structural and functional differences
but men as the idea goes
men, who will destroy the division between us
division by the sense of the racial and religious differences.

- gaurav

the "HOT SEAT".

As we recently shifted to new office building, where we get a single floor to us with two toilets to our "disposal", women in our office(2 against 9 men) demanding separate wash-room. Well I am not opposing the demand like some inconsiderate males, and those which I am very sure are the filthiest when it comes common hygiene. What I am opposed to the reason they are giving, thou they haven't said it, but well we all know what the reason is. The classic question echoed in the rooms of couples, whose relation-"ship" were turning into submarine, going under water.

WHY DON'T YOU EVER LIFT THE SEAT?

Well, because we don't need to!

When we men go to loo for "pee-ing" we do it in a position, where our body doesn't come in contact of "the SEAT". And when females does it, well we know, they does. So why we are the one who are supposed to lift the toilet seat and place it back, when the arrangement can be reversed and seat can be left in the upright position and should be laid down when needed, which are mostly by them. And they should leave it back standing, so we don't have come in touch until of course we are in need of it mostly once a day.

Now people will say what an ass-hole I am, well I will not feel bad about it as this word at least fit the scenario. And I am ready to take these volley of abuses for the sake of "mankind", as why should we do something which is not for us. You women need equal right, well it starts from here, the toilet seat. take it, its your right to lay it down and "then leave it up". Not for us, but for yourselves.

As Ayn Rand(one of your kind said in her mammoth novel "Atlas Shrugged") -

“I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.”

So if "she" is right, isn't I am right by saying

“I swear by my morning breakfast and my love of it that I will never lift "the seat" for the sake of another woman, nor ask another woman to lift for mine.”